HI Alyx! First things first, it seems that your font for comments on the wall is white? I couldn't see what I was typing so I had to type directly into my word counter before posting then it showed up. When I first saw your website I was struck by the design. I really like the design you made for both your title page and intro. The website is super clean and looks interesting. I also liked the addition of the youtube video for ambiance. I also liked the characterization you gave Anubis in the first person narrative for your introduction. I think you did a good job giving background on Anubis for someone who is not familiar with Egyptian mythology. I would say I was kind of confused as to the set up of your story. I understood that there would be transcripts of phone calls for your stories, but when you brought up the producers I became sort of confused as to the setup. I think your story could benefit for a little more clarity in that. Otherwise, I'm excited to see where it goes!
You've got a really, really neat idea for the theme of your site! I love the concept of Anubis taking radio calls as an advice columnist -- it takes traditional mythology and makes it super engaging for audiences. Setting up the site as if it's the website for Anubis' business was also very clever. The sense of immersion is never broken and you feel like you're in the story, even when you aren't reading the story. (And thank you for adding features like the "continue" button and a link to you comment wall.)
You've got some really nice header images on each of your pages, but maybe you could add a couple more to serve as "illustrations" here and there in your story. After all, Anubis is sort of acting as a business owner/blogger here, so maybe he'd want to incorporate as many visuals as possible. I think it might make the story jump off the page even more.
I love your concept and the humorous tone -- can't wait to read more!
I was really blown away by how great your storybook is--your idea to have Anubis host questions about the afterlife is incredibly brilliant and hilarious! I am really excited to see the calls that he gets and how he answers them, especially the one from his own family. I think the way you handle the different stories regarding Anubis' family is quite clever and also informative. Also, the topic of death is extremely interesting--everyone has to think about it at some point in their lives and most people have quite a few questions about it! Your voice for Anubis is funny and engaging, as well, and really does come across like a host fielding questions about a topic with which he is very familiar. I look forward to reading the rest of your storybook and really like your writing style! Good luck on the rest and great job!
Hi Alyx! First of all, this theme is excellent. I can't wait to see what you do with the radio show format. Also, the layout of your website is really visually appealing! The banner image is nice to look at and I like how Anubis references it in the introduction. I also thought the home page lead into the intro really smoothly. Also, the continue button is really useful;. I have a few questions that I'm sure will be answered in the following stories. What is Anubis' motivation for doing a radio show? Why does he want to share this information about the afterlife? What kinds of anecdotes will he be sharing? I don't have any real critiques... Anubis' tone is funny and I'm looking forward to see what kinds of info he shared about the afterlife. Also, nice touch with the music on the first page. Is that something that will continue?
I really liked how you set up your storybook! I especially loved the addition of the Egyptian soundtrack that you included for background music! That really helped set the scene for me, and this is definitely something that I would want to do with my storybook! I see that you have picked a storytelling technique that you have done for another story in the past which is the radio show host theme. I think this is still a great idea, and I certainly have plenty of questions about the afterlife, so I am sure Anubis will be getting a lot of interesting calls. Something I think would be useful would be adding a translation for "Em hotep." I certainly did not know what that means, and I feel most people will not. After looking it up, why you included it makes more since, but I was initially confused. In terms of style, I really liked your choice of banner image as that was really useful to reference when describing your characters. Good job on a strong start!
I love your story so far. The idea was really clever and I can't wait to read more of it. Having already read a couple of your stories following a similar format, I know that this one is going to be a great read. I love the humorous and lighthearted tone you set for a, perhaps, weighty subject. I think Anubis is a good choice for narrator. There are a lot of different ways you can go, since, as the god of the dead, he meets pretty much anyone and everyone. I am excited to find out whose stories we are going to hear and what kind of questions they will ask. As for critics, I don't really have any. Your site is set up well. The introduction was compelling and I like the pictures you have chosen. They help illustrate your story and make me want to read more. Great job so far, I will keep checking back for the rest!
Thanks so much for sharing this story with us. Looks like you are off to a great start. First off, I loved the setup of your page! The video at the end added a lot of character and personal touch to your story. Secondly, I love the way you framed the story as a talk show. Modernizing a story is always really challenging, but I think what you did here was great. Instead of a typical modernization where you alter major character names and other things, you left the old names and a lot of the old feel. That’s hard to do, and I think you did it really well. I appreciate what all you’re wanting to do with your approach by telling lots of stories from lots of cultures. All in all, this was a fun intro to read. I’m looking forward to what else you’ll write this semester.
Let me start off by saying that I really like the direction you took with your story! It is really unique, and I am looking forward to reading more about the people that call for his advice. My only critical, if you could call it that, comment would have to be that for someone that is considered a god and informs us of such, he speaks really informally – it reminds me of a teenager. I cannot really take his claims seriously, and I do not think I would want to come to him for serious advice about death. However, I think I understand why you chose to have him come off that way. After all, he is a radio host, and I know that radio hosts are supposed to be easy to talk to. I also appreciate how you try to inform the readers about the varying stories about Anubis’ family, but if it is confusing for him, then it is confusing for the reader as well. I do not think that you need to include all the information that you have written. Maybe you could just pick one of the most widespread beliefs about Anubis’ origin and stick just stick with it.
Hey Alyx! I'm digging the idea of an Anubis radio show. The contextualization of ancient folklore and religion with a modern day communication is interesting, and I'm sure it'll be a great way to provide interesting tales. Personally, the informal tone Anubis uses was a bit off-putting at first - he's a god, after all. Once the idea of using it to disarm the listeners to just hear some advice about journeying beyond life, his late-night radio host voice began to meld better. I'm interested in keeping up with your stories as we go along! Your site is set up really well! I like your homepage, and might use some similar ideas for my own when I get around to polishing up. On the page, if you could find some way to autoplay the music (softly) or put it near the beginning as a cue, that'd help with the environmental feel of it.
I like most other people who have already commented love the idea you have going on. The first person voice also flows really well, it seems like you really have gotten a hold on the character you are righting about.
Your homepage also really sets the scene for the mode of your stories. I am excited to see what else you have in store and am looking forward to reading more from you.
I'm so glad you added another episode -- I really enjoyed your intro and the concept of your project.
I think starting off with the little quote blurb is a nice touch. Stephen King starts a lot of his chapters with relevant quotes from pop culture sources and I think they do a nice job of setting the mood for what's to come.
I also think that turning the camera on Anubis and looking at his relationship with his brother in a much more informal setting makes it way more fun to learn about the Egyptian pantheon. Plus, throwing in little details about what the Egyptians believed was the best way to handle things in the afterlife makes for neat little tidbits of trivia.
Your usage of dialogue is great! Obviously, a radio show needs to be dialogue-driven, but you've done a nice job of making sure things don't drag, while still ensuring the reader isn't missing out on key elements of the story's plot. My only comment would be to combine Anubis' first two lines into the same paragraph -- when I first read it, I thought that two different people were saying the lines because there was a paragraph break. I'm excited to read the next installment!
I got to read the introduction and look over the setup of your storybook this past week, and I’m glad to get to come back and look over what you’ve called episode one this week. Before I get into that, I want to compliment how you’ve setup the site. It’s easy to navigate and it looks great. Let’s get into episode one! Great job with organizing and writing this dialogue. Dialogue is incredibly hard to write with any sort of flow or sense of cohesion, but you did an incredible job with that. It works well with the story to use this back and forth setup. As for the content, great job updating this myth and working it into your style. You added a sense of confusion and even a bit of darkness that works well with what you’re wanting to do with this project. I’m excited to see where you go from here!
Hey Alyx, I like the format of your storytelling. Doing the radio show is great way to tell multiple stories that are connected. Plus I imagine it can get pretty entertaining (I say this as an avid NPR listener). I also like the way you formatted the dialogue in your first story. A simple thing as different font styles can make a word of difference in figuring out who’s talking, especially when the two people aren’t interacting face to face. I also like the hint at Anubis knowing the caller, that was pretty funny. In the future, maybe the the caller can go into more detail about their background and why they’re calling in? For this specific purpose I think it serves to be pretty funny, but it may not work for all your stories.
First of all, I really like your opening line on the project home page. It is very intriguing and draws your attention to the rest of the project.
Your introduction does a good job of explaining who Anibus is, and it really sets the stage for what's to come. I liked the format of the introduction. Anibus doing a self-intro and talking about him and his life is pretty cool. I also liked the fact that you are doing a radio show, that's pretty cool.
Episode I was definitely entertaining. That caller is very suspicious indeed! There was no problem with me reading it; it was very clear following the story. However, I think that just to be a bit more formal, you might want to consider including a script-like structure to the story. Where you put the name of the character, like Anibus or the Caller, followed by their corresponding lines. This would clear up any confusing as to who is talking.
Hi Alyx, I am really loving your storybook so far. The way it is set up makes it very easy and enjoyable to read. Your writing is both humorous and captivating. I think it's really cool how you make it so educational without it seeming boring. I like how on the homepage there is a little hint of what is to come and then in your introduction you really explain what your storybook is about. You do a great job of just slipping all these little facts about Egyptian mythology in. It reads like it was written by an experienced writer. As well, your grammar is very good, so I don't have any comments about that. I can tell you like Egyptian mythology. Have you read Rick Riordan's Kane Chronicle's series? Good job on your storybook, I am excited to see where it goes! Hope you are having a good semester. -Ann Marie
I remember reading your first story a while back and loved it! I am glad that this is what you are running with for your project. You are obviously a very talented and creative writer, and the work you put into your website shows. I am excited to read what else you'll add to it in the future! I'm not sure if this is possible, but I was wanting a little more length in your first story. It is such a creative idea, that the reader wants more to consume. It did strike me as a little odd how your introduction seemed longer than your first chapter. You did a fantastic job fleshing out your story in the introduction, it outweighs your chapter a teeny bit. The aesthetics of your website and your homepage are wonderful. I love the colors and the images you have picked out. I will definitely be checking back in as you add chapters, great work so far!
Hi Alyx, I really like your introduction. What a brilliant way to connect all the stories. I really love the way Anubis references the banner picture in this and the first person in this. I wonder why Anubis is on a radio show and where is everybody else. I like the bolded print at the beginning of the chapters. Your way of differentiating between the caller and Anubis through italicizing was very good. Chapter one made me laugh out loud. I was like this man is kind of weird and at the end in the author's note, I was like this makes sense if it's relating the story between Set and Osiris. I like how seemingly natural your story is but how related it is to the original story. It is simple yet easy to read! You might think about maybe adding more to your first chapter because it seemed to end rather fast. I can't wait to read more as they get posted.
Hey there Alyx, These were such good reads. But to start with the beginning, your website is simple but very captivating. It really draws the reader in and is very easy for the reader to navigate. The Title of your Storybook is very clever and funny. This was such a great way of connecting all of the stories. It was very cool how Anubis referenced the banner image in the story. The bolded characters at the beginning of the stories was a very interesting twist and was very cool. The authors notes that you provided really gave some insight into the original stories. The homepage that you provided really gave some hints of what was to come and then your introduction really what your story book was about. You did a great job at supplying all of the facts needed to understand the story. This was a great story and I look forward to reading more!
I really enjoyed your intro to Asking Anubis, the style you chose was original and refreshing, so it made for a very enjoyable read! I was a big fan of how you were able to describe and give background onto the character through the guise of a radio talk show, as it made it seem not only accurate, but fluid. I also like d how you mentioned how Anubis has found himself and others in sticky situations due to the advice he has given, maybe you could explore this more in later additions to the story? I would love to hear of an example where Anubis tried his best to give someone good advice and they followed it and ended up worse off. This could show why he has given up on giving advice and now sticks to questions and answers on his radio how. All in all, great works and I can't wait to read more!
I'm a big fan of Egyptian mythology, so reading your storybook was fun and entertaining to say the least. I absolutely love the route you've taken by having Anubis be a radio host that answers questions about the afterlife. Your introduction is sweet and to the point, it introduces Anubis well, as well as describes that he has a lot of family and what he is the god of. I kinda wish you'd mention the heart weighing ceremony he helps with...
Your first "caller" was great. Knowing the myth, I vaguely had a feeling it was Set from the way he asked about a coffin, but I feel there were some details you could have added to make it more obvious for those who have known the story. I believe Anubis actually helps Set with embalming Osiris, but I like your take as a mean to say that Anubis didn't purposefully help Set.
I commented a while ago on your introduction and I just want to say that the style of your website is amazing--very inkeeping with the theme of ancient Egypt! I already knew that I would love your stories and, sure enough, I do! Great job with making a convincing and intriguing phone conversation between Anubis and Set--you really made the story your own and added some humor into it, as well! I think the whole concept of Anubis answering people's questions about death and the afterlife is incredibly creative and unique and just a really fun way to set up your project and make readers want to travel through your site and see what happens! Again, fantastic job and I cannot wait to see what your project looks like when you are finished! I actually read these stories for one of our assignments and can't wait to see what stories you chose to include later on!
Hey Alyx, I’m commenting on your storybook again because I really like what you’ve done so far! It’s interesting how many stories seem to involve the gods being spouse-siblings (of course I’m mostly thinking of Greek mythology when I say this, but obviously there are other cultures where this happens too). Your new story reminds me of the one from Greek mythology, of the guy who wanted to go get his wife from the Underworld, and managed to convince Hades to let her go. But he couldn’t look at her the whole trek back to the surface, or he’d lose her forever. He almost managed it, but messed up at the last second. It’s interesting how similar stories can be found in different cultures. This new story is a little heavy, but I think it balances well with the lightness of the previous story. If you can and want to, you can always balance it out with another funny story, or not! My own storybook might be a little heavy at the end, I admit. Do whatever you’re satisfied with!
Hey Alyx, I really love coming back to your stories. They are one of the most entertaining in the whole class, in my opinion. My favorite thing about them is how I can picture Anubis sitting at a sort of radio station and actually taking guest calls for a show about death. I also thought it was awesome that you used Izanami in your story, especially because you tied in Japanese mythology as well. I had read your first story before, but I wanted to come back for the second as well. My question is, will there be a continuation to story 2? Or are you just going to write a new story? Anyway, it was very well done. I don’t really have any sort of advice for you, and honestly I feel like I should be taking tips and info from your storybook and using it in mine. Very well done! Brady
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHI Alyx!
ReplyDeleteFirst things first, it seems that your font for comments on the wall is white? I couldn't see what I was typing so I had to type directly into my word counter before posting then it showed up. When I first saw your website I was struck by the design. I really like the design you made for both your title page and intro. The website is super clean and looks interesting. I also liked the addition of the youtube video for ambiance. I also liked the characterization you gave Anubis in the first person narrative for your introduction. I think you did a good job giving background on Anubis for someone who is not familiar with Egyptian mythology. I would say I was kind of confused as to the set up of your story. I understood that there would be transcripts of phone calls for your stories, but when you brought up the producers I became sort of confused as to the setup. I think your story could benefit for a little more clarity in that. Otherwise, I'm excited to see where it goes!
Hi, Alyx!
ReplyDeleteYou've got a really, really neat idea for the theme of your site! I love the concept of Anubis taking radio calls as an advice columnist -- it takes traditional mythology and makes it super engaging for audiences. Setting up the site as if it's the website for Anubis' business was also very clever. The sense of immersion is never broken and you feel like you're in the story, even when you aren't reading the story. (And thank you for adding features like the "continue" button and a link to you comment wall.)
You've got some really nice header images on each of your pages, but maybe you could add a couple more to serve as "illustrations" here and there in your story. After all, Anubis is sort of acting as a business owner/blogger here, so maybe he'd want to incorporate as many visuals as possible. I think it might make the story jump off the page even more.
I love your concept and the humorous tone -- can't wait to read more!
Hello, Alyx!
ReplyDeleteI was really blown away by how great your storybook is--your idea to have Anubis host questions about the afterlife is incredibly brilliant and hilarious! I am really excited to see the calls that he gets and how he answers them, especially the one from his own family. I think the way you handle the different stories regarding Anubis' family is quite clever and also informative. Also, the topic of death is extremely interesting--everyone has to think about it at some point in their lives and most people have quite a few questions about it! Your voice for Anubis is funny and engaging, as well, and really does come across like a host fielding questions about a topic with which he is very familiar. I look forward to reading the rest of your storybook and really like your writing style! Good luck on the rest and great job!
Hi Alyx! First of all, this theme is excellent. I can't wait to see what you do with the radio show format. Also, the layout of your website is really visually appealing! The banner image is nice to look at and I like how Anubis references it in the introduction. I also thought the home page lead into the intro really smoothly. Also, the continue button is really useful;.
ReplyDeleteI have a few questions that I'm sure will be answered in the following stories. What is Anubis' motivation for doing a radio show? Why does he want to share this information about the afterlife? What kinds of anecdotes will he be sharing?
I don't have any real critiques... Anubis' tone is funny and I'm looking forward to see what kinds of info he shared about the afterlife.
Also, nice touch with the music on the first page. Is that something that will continue?
Hello Alyx,
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you set up your storybook! I especially loved the addition of the Egyptian soundtrack that you included for background music! That really helped set the scene for me, and this is definitely something that I would want to do with my storybook! I see that you have picked a storytelling technique that you have done for another story in the past which is the radio show host theme. I think this is still a great idea, and I certainly have plenty of questions about the afterlife, so I am sure Anubis will be getting a lot of interesting calls. Something I think would be useful would be adding a translation for "Em hotep." I certainly did not know what that means, and I feel most people will not. After looking it up, why you included it makes more since, but I was initially confused. In terms of style, I really liked your choice of banner image as that was really useful to reference when describing your characters. Good job on a strong start!
Hey Alyx,
ReplyDeleteI love your story so far. The idea was really clever and I can't wait to read more of it. Having already read a couple of your stories following a similar format, I know that this one is going to be a great read. I love the humorous and lighthearted tone you set for a, perhaps, weighty subject. I think Anubis is a good choice for narrator. There are a lot of different ways you can go, since, as the god of the dead, he meets pretty much anyone and everyone. I am excited to find out whose stories we are going to hear and what kind of questions they will ask.
As for critics, I don't really have any. Your site is set up well. The introduction was compelling and I like the pictures you have chosen. They help illustrate your story and make me want to read more. Great job so far, I will keep checking back for the rest!
Hey Alyx!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for sharing this story with us. Looks like you are off to a great start.
First off, I loved the setup of your page! The video at the end added a lot of character and personal touch to your story. Secondly, I love the way you framed the story as a talk show. Modernizing a story is always really challenging, but I think what you did here was great. Instead of a typical modernization where you alter major character names and other things, you left the old names and a lot of the old feel. That’s hard to do, and I think you did it really well.
I appreciate what all you’re wanting to do with your approach by telling lots of stories from lots of cultures. All in all, this was a fun intro to read. I’m looking forward to what else you’ll write this semester.
Best,
JD
Hello, Alyx!
ReplyDeleteLet me start off by saying that I really like the direction you took with your story! It is really unique, and I am looking forward to reading more about the people that call for his advice.
My only critical, if you could call it that, comment would have to be that for someone that is considered a god and informs us of such, he speaks really informally – it reminds me of a teenager. I cannot really take his claims seriously, and I do not think I would want to come to him for serious advice about death. However, I think I understand why you chose to have him come off that way. After all, he is a radio host, and I know that radio hosts are supposed to be easy to talk to. I also appreciate how you try to inform the readers about the varying stories about Anubis’ family, but if it is confusing for him, then it is confusing for the reader as well. I do not think that you need to include all the information that you have written. Maybe you could just pick one of the most widespread beliefs about Anubis’ origin and stick just stick with it.
Once again, great story!!
Hey Alyx!
ReplyDeleteI'm digging the idea of an Anubis radio show. The contextualization of ancient folklore and religion with a modern day communication is interesting, and I'm sure it'll be a great way to provide interesting tales. Personally, the informal tone Anubis uses was a bit off-putting at first - he's a god, after all. Once the idea of using it to disarm the listeners to just hear some advice about journeying beyond life, his late-night radio host voice began to meld better. I'm interested in keeping up with your stories as we go along!
Your site is set up really well! I like your homepage, and might use some similar ideas for my own when I get around to polishing up. On the page, if you could find some way to autoplay the music (softly) or put it near the beginning as a cue, that'd help with the environmental feel of it.
Hey Alyx,
ReplyDeleteI like most other people who have already commented love the idea you have going on. The first person voice also flows really well, it seems like you really have gotten a hold on the character you are righting about.
Your homepage also really sets the scene for the mode of your stories. I am excited to see what else you have in store and am looking forward to reading more from you.
Hey, Alyx!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you added another episode -- I really enjoyed your intro and the concept of your project.
I think starting off with the little quote blurb is a nice touch. Stephen King starts a lot of his chapters with relevant quotes from pop culture sources and I think they do a nice job of setting the mood for what's to come.
I also think that turning the camera on Anubis and looking at his relationship with his brother in a much more informal setting makes it way more fun to learn about the Egyptian pantheon. Plus, throwing in little details about what the Egyptians believed was the best way to handle things in the afterlife makes for neat little tidbits of trivia.
Your usage of dialogue is great! Obviously, a radio show needs to be dialogue-driven, but you've done a nice job of making sure things don't drag, while still ensuring the reader isn't missing out on key elements of the story's plot. My only comment would be to combine Anubis' first two lines into the same paragraph -- when I first read it, I thought that two different people were saying the lines because there was a paragraph break. I'm excited to read the next installment!
Hey Alyx!
ReplyDeleteI got to read the introduction and look over the setup of your storybook this past week, and I’m glad to get to come back and look over what you’ve called episode one this week. Before I get into that, I want to compliment how you’ve setup the site. It’s easy to navigate and it looks great. Let’s get into episode one!
Great job with organizing and writing this dialogue. Dialogue is incredibly hard to write with any sort of flow or sense of cohesion, but you did an incredible job with that. It works well with the story to use this back and forth setup.
As for the content, great job updating this myth and working it into your style. You added a sense of confusion and even a bit of darkness that works well with what you’re wanting to do with this project. I’m excited to see where you go from here!
Best,
- JD
Hey Alyx, I like the format of your storytelling. Doing the radio show is great way to tell multiple stories that are connected. Plus I imagine it can get pretty entertaining (I say this as an avid NPR listener). I also like the way you formatted the dialogue in your first story. A simple thing as different font styles can make a word of difference in figuring out who’s talking, especially when the two people aren’t interacting face to face. I also like the hint at Anubis knowing the caller, that was pretty funny. In the future, maybe the the caller can go into more detail about their background and why they’re calling in? For this specific purpose I think it serves to be pretty funny, but it may not work for all your stories.
ReplyDeleteHi Alyx,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I really like your opening line on the project home page. It is very intriguing and draws your attention to the rest of the project.
Your introduction does a good job of explaining who Anibus is, and it really sets the stage for what's to come. I liked the format of the introduction. Anibus doing a self-intro and talking about him and his life is pretty cool. I also liked the fact that you are doing a radio show, that's pretty cool.
Episode I was definitely entertaining. That caller is very suspicious indeed! There was no problem with me reading it; it was very clear following the story. However, I think that just to be a bit more formal, you might want to consider including a script-like structure to the story. Where you put the name of the character, like Anibus or the Caller, followed by their corresponding lines. This would clear up any confusing as to who is talking.
Hi Alyx,
ReplyDeleteI am really loving your storybook so far. The way it is set up makes it very easy and enjoyable to read. Your writing is both humorous and captivating. I think it's really cool how you make it so educational without it seeming boring.
I like how on the homepage there is a little hint of what is to come and then in your introduction you really explain what your storybook is about. You do a great job of just slipping all these little facts about Egyptian mythology in. It reads like it was written by an experienced writer. As well, your grammar is very good, so I don't have any comments about that.
I can tell you like Egyptian mythology. Have you read Rick Riordan's Kane Chronicle's series?
Good job on your storybook, I am excited to see where it goes! Hope you are having a good semester.
-Ann Marie
Alyx,
ReplyDeleteI remember reading your first story a while back and loved it! I am glad that this is what you are running with for your project. You are obviously a very talented and creative writer, and the work you put into your website shows. I am excited to read what else you'll add to it in the future!
I'm not sure if this is possible, but I was wanting a little more length in your first story. It is such a creative idea, that the reader wants more to consume. It did strike me as a little odd how your introduction seemed longer than your first chapter. You did a fantastic job fleshing out your story in the introduction, it outweighs your chapter a teeny bit.
The aesthetics of your website and your homepage are wonderful. I love the colors and the images you have picked out. I will definitely be checking back in as you add chapters, great work so far!
Hi Alyx,
ReplyDeleteI really like your introduction. What a brilliant way to connect all the stories. I really love the way Anubis references the banner picture in this and the first person in this. I wonder why Anubis is on a radio show and where is everybody else. I like the bolded print at the beginning of the chapters. Your way of differentiating between the caller and Anubis through italicizing was very good.
Chapter one made me laugh out loud. I was like this man is kind of weird and at the end in the author's note, I was like this makes sense if it's relating the story between Set and Osiris. I like how seemingly natural your story is but how related it is to the original story. It is simple yet easy to read! You might think about maybe adding more to your first chapter because it seemed to end rather fast. I can't wait to read more as they get posted.
Hey there Alyx,
ReplyDeleteThese were such good reads. But to start with the beginning, your website is simple but very captivating. It really draws the reader in and is very easy for the reader to navigate. The Title of your Storybook is very clever and funny. This was such a great way of connecting all of the stories. It was very cool how Anubis referenced the banner image in the story. The bolded characters at the beginning of the stories was a very interesting twist and was very cool. The authors notes that you provided really gave some insight into the original stories. The homepage that you provided really gave some hints of what was to come and then your introduction really what your story book was about. You did a great job at supplying all of the facts needed to understand the story. This was a great story and I look forward to reading more!
Hey Alyx,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your intro to Asking Anubis, the style you chose was original and refreshing, so it made for a very enjoyable read! I was a big fan of how you were able to describe and give background onto the character through the guise of a radio talk show, as it made it seem not only accurate, but fluid. I also like d how you mentioned how Anubis has found himself and others in sticky situations due to the advice he has given, maybe you could explore this more in later additions to the story? I would love to hear of an example where Anubis tried his best to give someone good advice and they followed it and ended up worse off. This could show why he has given up on giving advice and now sticks to questions and answers on his radio how. All in all, great works and I can't wait to read more!
Hey Alyx,
ReplyDeleteI'm a big fan of Egyptian mythology, so reading your storybook was fun and entertaining to say the least. I absolutely love the route you've taken by having Anubis be a radio host that answers questions about the afterlife. Your introduction is sweet and to the point, it introduces Anubis well, as well as describes that he has a lot of family and what he is the god of. I kinda wish you'd mention the heart weighing ceremony he helps with...
Your first "caller" was great. Knowing the myth, I vaguely had a feeling it was Set from the way he asked about a coffin, but I feel there were some details you could have added to make it more obvious for those who have known the story. I believe Anubis actually helps Set with embalming Osiris, but I like your take as a mean to say that Anubis didn't purposefully help Set.
Hey again, Alyx!
ReplyDeleteI commented a while ago on your introduction and I just want to say that the style of your website is amazing--very inkeeping with the theme of ancient Egypt! I already knew that I would love your stories and, sure enough, I do! Great job with making a convincing and intriguing phone conversation between Anubis and Set--you really made the story your own and added some humor into it, as well! I think the whole concept of Anubis answering people's questions about death and the afterlife is incredibly creative and unique and just a really fun way to set up your project and make readers want to travel through your site and see what happens! Again, fantastic job and I cannot wait to see what your project looks like when you are finished! I actually read these stories for one of our assignments and can't wait to see what stories you chose to include later on!
Hey Alyx, I’m commenting on your storybook again because I really like what you’ve done so far! It’s interesting how many stories seem to involve the gods being spouse-siblings (of course I’m mostly thinking of Greek mythology when I say this, but obviously there are other cultures where this happens too). Your new story reminds me of the one from Greek mythology, of the guy who wanted to go get his wife from the Underworld, and managed to convince Hades to let her go. But he couldn’t look at her the whole trek back to the surface, or he’d lose her forever. He almost managed it, but messed up at the last second. It’s interesting how similar stories can be found in different cultures. This new story is a little heavy, but I think it balances well with the lightness of the previous story. If you can and want to, you can always balance it out with another funny story, or not! My own storybook might be a little heavy at the end, I admit. Do whatever you’re satisfied with!
ReplyDeleteHey Alyx,
ReplyDeleteI really love coming back to your stories. They are one of the most entertaining in the whole class, in my opinion. My favorite thing about them is how I can picture Anubis sitting at a sort of radio station and actually taking guest calls for a show about death. I also thought it was awesome that you used Izanami in your story, especially because you tied in Japanese mythology as well. I had read your first story before, but I wanted to come back for the second as well. My question is, will there be a continuation to story 2? Or are you just going to write a new story? Anyway, it was very well done. I don’t really have any sort of advice for you, and honestly I feel like I should be taking tips and info from your storybook and using it in mine.
Very well done!
Brady