Week 3 Story: Flood Watch - A Retelling of Noah
Author's Note
This week I read the Biblical story of Noah. The readings included in this unit told the story of Noah using the book of Genesis, which is the version that I was told growing up, and stories of Noah from Jewish folktales/scripture. Reading through the Jewish stories about Noah, I thought it was interesting how different the tone of the stories were from the biblical telling. There was a bit more liveliness, especially in the story I'm retelling today, which takes place after the flood.
In the Jewish story, Noah plants a vineyard (with his business partner Satan) and proceeds to get drunk. Like a drunk man, he gets naked and tries to find his wife. Then, his grandson Canaan finds him naked and tells his father Ham, who tells his other two brothers. These brothers preserve their father Noah's dignity by avoiding seeing his nakedness while entering the tent and then covering him. However, when Noah wakes up he is furious that his son Ham and his grandson Canaan saw him naked, and he curses Canaan and all his future generations. Also, the devil must have disappeared after the vineyard was planted when he saw it was going to turn a profit, because there is no other mention of him in the story besides at the very beginning.
In keeping with the 'lively' tone, I decided to use one of the ideas from this list, and retell Noah's drunkenness as an episode of a call-in radio show called Flood Watch.
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Noah's Drunkenness Retelling: Flood Watch, An Advice Hotline
"Welcome to Flood Watch, the radio show that strives to be your source of all news and advice after the flood! I'm your host, Shemhazai. We've got a great show ahead of us this morning folks, so be sure to stay tuned. Lots of news about the state of the zebra population coming later, but first we are having a chat with the OG flood survivor, Noah! This legend is joining us over the phone."
"Noah, how are you doing today?"
"Today is a shameful day."
"Sorry to hear it! But you're in the right place, Noah. One of the things Flood Watch does best is provide relevant advice for all of post-flood humanity."
"Is that a large audience?"
"Not particularly. But tell us, what's on your mind?"
"Well, my soul is very conflicted. My son Ham has brought shame upon my family."
"Sounds terrible! What could Ham have done to bring such conflict into your life?"
"He and my grandson Canaan were wicked and saw my naked flesh."
"Um, excuse me? Awkward! What did you do?"
"I did what any rational parent would do. I tried to curse Ham and all of his generations after him. But I was unable to, because of the blessing the Lord gifted me and my sons after the flood. So instead I cursed Canaan and all his generations after him. I gave him red eyes and ugly curly hair so everyone will know the shame he brought upon his father Noah."
"Wow. Sounds pretty heavy. I think everyone definitely understands why you feel so conflicted now. That's a complex situation."
"It is. I truly wish I had more of the Lord's guidance right now."
"Don't we all? But I guess we'll have to be second best and try and help you out. Just a quick question before we try to tackle this issue, though, Noah. How did this happen in the first place?"
"Well, uh, Shemhazai, I was with my wife in her tent."
"No need to explain further! But wouldn't you or your wife have heard your grandson approaching?"
"Usually, but my wife wasn't actually there."
"Wait, so why were you naked?"
"Listen, the world is a stressful place now! I'm a pious man, some would say even the most pious, but I need someway to relax sometimes. So I planted a vineyard."
"I think I see where this is going. There's no sin in a vineyard and enjoying the Lord's creation, but drinking too much makes a monkey out of a man, Noah."
"It wasn't my fault! Satan was the one who said it would be a great business venture!"
"Woah, pump the breaks! You started a vineyard in a business partnership with Satan? Noah, buddy, I think you might be assigning the blame to the wrong person here. Is it really fair to curse your grandson and all his offspring when you were the one who was dealing with the devil?"
"He was barely a part of it! Canaan was the one who shamed my family by seeing me naked!"
"But you were the one who was drunken and naked in the first place, Noah. I'd say Satan might've gotten the best of you this time."
"How dare you! The Lord saw how pious I am and spared only me from the flood, I--"
"Look, buddy, we all fall to temptation now and then. Even I know a little about that. The important thing is you learn your lesson and ask for forgiveness--"
"This is ridiculous! You call yourself an advice hotline? How can you put this nonsense on air? I should curse you righ--"
"Alright folks, I think that's it for our chat with Noah today! Man, lots of stuff happening even after the flood. Who knew? Wonder if that kid Canaan will be okay...Tune in next week to find out!"
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Bibliography
'The Curse of Drunkenness' from The Legends of the Jews by Louis Ginzberg, Read it here
This week I read the Biblical story of Noah. The readings included in this unit told the story of Noah using the book of Genesis, which is the version that I was told growing up, and stories of Noah from Jewish folktales/scripture. Reading through the Jewish stories about Noah, I thought it was interesting how different the tone of the stories were from the biblical telling. There was a bit more liveliness, especially in the story I'm retelling today, which takes place after the flood.
In the Jewish story, Noah plants a vineyard (with his business partner Satan) and proceeds to get drunk. Like a drunk man, he gets naked and tries to find his wife. Then, his grandson Canaan finds him naked and tells his father Ham, who tells his other two brothers. These brothers preserve their father Noah's dignity by avoiding seeing his nakedness while entering the tent and then covering him. However, when Noah wakes up he is furious that his son Ham and his grandson Canaan saw him naked, and he curses Canaan and all his future generations. Also, the devil must have disappeared after the vineyard was planted when he saw it was going to turn a profit, because there is no other mention of him in the story besides at the very beginning.
In keeping with the 'lively' tone, I decided to use one of the ideas from this list, and retell Noah's drunkenness as an episode of a call-in radio show called Flood Watch.
-----------------
Noah's Drunkenness Retelling: Flood Watch, An Advice Hotline
"Welcome to Flood Watch, the radio show that strives to be your source of all news and advice after the flood! I'm your host, Shemhazai. We've got a great show ahead of us this morning folks, so be sure to stay tuned. Lots of news about the state of the zebra population coming later, but first we are having a chat with the OG flood survivor, Noah! This legend is joining us over the phone."
"Noah, how are you doing today?"
"Today is a shameful day."
"Sorry to hear it! But you're in the right place, Noah. One of the things Flood Watch does best is provide relevant advice for all of post-flood humanity."
"Is that a large audience?"
"Not particularly. But tell us, what's on your mind?"
"Well, my soul is very conflicted. My son Ham has brought shame upon my family."
"Sounds terrible! What could Ham have done to bring such conflict into your life?"
"He and my grandson Canaan were wicked and saw my naked flesh."
"Um, excuse me? Awkward! What did you do?"
"I did what any rational parent would do. I tried to curse Ham and all of his generations after him. But I was unable to, because of the blessing the Lord gifted me and my sons after the flood. So instead I cursed Canaan and all his generations after him. I gave him red eyes and ugly curly hair so everyone will know the shame he brought upon his father Noah."
"Wow. Sounds pretty heavy. I think everyone definitely understands why you feel so conflicted now. That's a complex situation."
"It is. I truly wish I had more of the Lord's guidance right now."
"Don't we all? But I guess we'll have to be second best and try and help you out. Just a quick question before we try to tackle this issue, though, Noah. How did this happen in the first place?"
"Well, uh, Shemhazai, I was with my wife in her tent."
"No need to explain further! But wouldn't you or your wife have heard your grandson approaching?"
"Usually, but my wife wasn't actually there."
"Wait, so why were you naked?"
"Listen, the world is a stressful place now! I'm a pious man, some would say even the most pious, but I need someway to relax sometimes. So I planted a vineyard."
"I think I see where this is going. There's no sin in a vineyard and enjoying the Lord's creation, but drinking too much makes a monkey out of a man, Noah."
"It wasn't my fault! Satan was the one who said it would be a great business venture!"
"Woah, pump the breaks! You started a vineyard in a business partnership with Satan? Noah, buddy, I think you might be assigning the blame to the wrong person here. Is it really fair to curse your grandson and all his offspring when you were the one who was dealing with the devil?"
"He was barely a part of it! Canaan was the one who shamed my family by seeing me naked!"
"But you were the one who was drunken and naked in the first place, Noah. I'd say Satan might've gotten the best of you this time."
"How dare you! The Lord saw how pious I am and spared only me from the flood, I--"
"Look, buddy, we all fall to temptation now and then. Even I know a little about that. The important thing is you learn your lesson and ask for forgiveness--"
"This is ridiculous! You call yourself an advice hotline? How can you put this nonsense on air? I should curse you righ--"
"Alright folks, I think that's it for our chat with Noah today! Man, lots of stuff happening even after the flood. Who knew? Wonder if that kid Canaan will be okay...Tune in next week to find out!"
-----------------
Flood Watch hotline, this is Shemhazai speaking. What's on your mind?
(Image source: Gratisography on Pexels.com)
Bibliography
'The Curse of Drunkenness' from The Legends of the Jews by Louis Ginzberg, Read it here
Hi Alyx!
ReplyDeleteYour story was really creative. You definitely took artistic license with it. I really liked the setting you chose, changing it to a talk show. It flowed nicely and got the story across clearly. I hadn’t heard of the Jewish retelling of the flood story before so that was really interesting to learn about. It is interesting how many cultures have flood stories and how different they all are.
-Elyse
Hey Alyx,
ReplyDeleteThis story was HILARIOUS. I didn't know if you meant it to be, but it made me laugh out loud. I am imagining an actual person on the talk show, saying all of these things. you definitely livened up the story. I really did love this idea of making it in a talk show. Also, this is the first time I have ever read a biblical story, so thank you for making it so clear!
I can't wait to read more.
-Anhthu
Hey Alyx,
ReplyDeleteThis was truly an outstanding story. You used so much creativity and artistic ability. That was easy to see. The talk show setting was outstanding. It was super engaging for your readers. Your retelling of the story also provided many great learning opportunities as I was fairly unfamiliar with the topic. Great work!
-Andy
Hey Alyx, I like your version a lot! Doing the Author's note at the beginning was also nice, because you explained the original story, and made it easier for me to understand what was going on in your retelling. Like everyone else who commented, I definitely LOL'ed at the ending.
ReplyDeleteHi Alyx,
ReplyDeleteI really appreciated your version of this story about Noah! This was such a different way of telling this story that I probably never would have considered. This helped keep the story lively and fresh to read. Did you ever consider having Noah speak with modern language instead of the older Bible like speaking? This story made me think about how Noah would talk and what slang he would use if he was in modern times. Would Noah try to be hip and cool or a strict and uptight father figure? I wonder what would have happened if you had the radio host have both Canaan and Satan there as well, so we could have heard their sides of the story. I think it would be really interesting to see what Satan had to say, and maybe he would even confess to setting Noah up to do something like this. Great approach to this story!